> Comprehending Engineers-Take One
> 
> Two engineering students were  walking across campus when one said,
> "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
> "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a
> beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground,
> took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second
> engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't
> have fit."
> 
> *****************************
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Two
> 
> An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
> better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
> enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
> relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress,
> because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I
> like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress,
> they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and
> you can go to the plant and get some work done."
> 
> *******************************
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
> 
> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
> Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
> 
> *****************************
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
> 
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
> The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
> The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
> The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
> 
> ***************************
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
> 
> To the optimist, the glass is half full.
> To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
> 
> *******************************
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
> 
> Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a
> conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch
> as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people
> going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three lawyers.
> "Watch and you'll see," answers one of the engineers. They all board the
> train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers
> cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the
> train has departed, the  conductor comes around collecting tickets. He
> knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens
> just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The
> conductor takes it and moves on. The lawyers saw this and agreed it was
> quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy
> the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to
> the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their
> astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you
> going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed lawyer. "Watch and
> you'll see," says one of the engineers. When they board the train the
> three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into
> another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the
> engineers leaves his restroom  and walks over to the restroom where the
> lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."